In today’s digital world, the internet is an essential resource for young people to access information, explore community, and find themselves. But we know that this often comes alongside fears of experiencing online harms like doxxing, grooming, or bullying.
Trying to protect your family from everything all the time is impractical and exhausting, but some thoughtful planning can help families devise a workable plan that meets their needs and addresses their concerns.
That’s why this Digital Parent Week, we’re sharing easy tips on how parents and their children can work together to co-curate a digital safety plan that helps all members of the family enjoy the benefits of technology while protecting their online privacy and safety.
Start with Open Conversations
Online safety begins with communication, not just restrictions. Talk with a young person about how they use the internet: their favourite apps, games, and social media platforms for example. Creating a supportive environment helps young people feel comfortable asking for help if something goes wrong online.
Together, you can think about:
- What do we want to protect? e.g., I want to protect a young person’s privacy and mental health when they’re playing Roblox. They love Roblox and use it to communicate and hang out with their best friend, so we’d like to find a way to make it as safe as possible.
- Who do we want to protect it from? e.g., messages from strangers, staying up too late playing, wasting money on pointless digital junk in games.
- How bad are the consequences if we fail? e.g, losing some money on a scam or having creepy conversations with strangers that could escalate into something more nefarious or dangerous.
- How likely is it that we will need to protect it? e.g., I don’t know the likelihood of a stranger messaging you on Roblox because I’m not sure how communication works on the platform, but I’ve heard from their friends that strangers message them all the time in some games.
- How much trouble are we willing to go through to try to prevent potential consequences? e.g., I’m willing to learn from my child how the game works, play the game with my child, and learn how to work the parental controls.
- Who are our allies? e.g., my partner, our parents, as well as a young person’s best friends and their parents.
It's easy to think of a young person's experience on the internet as being totally disconnected and different from your own. But now is a great time to also interrogate your own internet habits, like the sorts of sites you engage with, tools you use, and privacy settings you've set. These questions are as valuable to help you as a parent as they are just an internet user.
Sometimes even just figuring out what conversations are worth having can take some effort, we've put together some ideas to get you started in our guide.
Make Privacy a Family Priority
Digital security training can feel overwhelming but this is why a community-oriented approach helps. In speaking with your family and friends, you can build out digital security practices that work for you. This makes it more likely that your privacy practices will become second nature to you and your loved ones.
Use secure messaging services for every communication: Choosing a secure service ensures that your privacy is protected from government and corporate surveillance. If you can convince your family to get on board, options like Signal provide the most extensive privacy protections out of the box through its use of end-to-end encryption and limited data collection. But we understand that sometimes it's easier to stick with whatever the family already uses for a group chat, like WhatsApp, Apple's iMessage, or Google Messages, so take the time to familiarize yourself with the limits of WhatsApp and RCS encryption.
Consider the content posted online: It's easy to accidentally share personal information through photos, messages, and other content. Children and adults may unknowingly share personal information through photos, messages, location settings and app permissions. Take time together to review privacy settings, check which apps can access the camera or location, and discuss why personal details should be shared carefully. Make sure you have family agreement about when and where to post photos of each other or your home.
Create incident response plans: Developing a plan for if or when something bad happens is a good practice for anyone, but especially with younger people. It’s important to strategize with your family around what to do in the event of such things happening, and doing so before an incident occurs is much easier than when you’re presently facing a crisis.
Alongside this, simple steps like using strong and unique passwords on all devices, including those that are shared in the family, can make a real difference. Regardless of age, there’s no time like the present to get started on good security hygiene, and for many that starts with a password manager and two-factor authentication.
How to Think About Parental Controls
Many sites permit parents to control features such as personalization, algorithmic feed, autoplay, endless scroll, reactions, notifications, and time limits. Talk as a family about which features are important and useful and which are problematic. The conversations above around boundaries and digital literacy are a more effective way to prepare youth for accessing the internet. To develop true autonomy, young people need the privacy to discover the world for themselves without their parents monitoring the contents of every conversation they have.
Explore new apps together and revisit family rules as they grow. These decision points where you’re exploring with a young person what you’re both comfortable with can be good moments to “find your way to a yes” for whatever feature or tool or game they’re asking about. The questions they ask, along with your responses, provide a road map for what to look for in privacy controls that can get you to a place where everyone is comfortable engaging with that technology.
Small Steps = Big Difference
There is no one size fits all to the tech questions and concerns a parent will face, and keeping young people safe online is not about removing every risk and monitoring every click. This Digital Parenting Week, you can start to focus on what’s important for your family and how to best achieve those goals.
If you're still not sure where to start, installing EFF’s Privacy Badger on every computer in your household is a great starting point to protecting everyone's privacy.
For more detailed information on all these tips and more, visit EFF’s Online Privacy Guide for Parents and Youth.